Tag Archives: faith

I am better off without you

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I am not at all saying that there is nothing positive in my life. I am surrounded by it.  However, I am also exhausted with the negative parts in my life. Negative actions, negative words, and negative attitudes (mine definitely included). Therefore, I am on a quest to banish them forever.  Negativity….I am better off without you!

My sense of self will be the hardest to conquer. I have a great facade going on. I pretend that I am content with myself, but that would be an injustice. That would allude to the fact that I am done growing (physically, spiritually, and emotionally). There is always room for improvement and growth.

The negative, judgmental part of my being has to go away also. I try to be very unbiased and non-judgmental, however, human nature and inherent sin make it so easy. This is a part that needs constant attention.

Another difficulty will be people’s perception of the new real me I am so desperately needing to find. My activities will change. My outlook on myself and others will change and my perception of the world will change. I am hoping and praying that this will all be viewed as positive, however, there is no one that I need approval from except God and myself.

So…here’s to a new ME….better lifestyle, healthier living, positive attitude, non-judgmental and happier. If you see me and I am not doing this…call me out nicely. Accountability in numbers.

love peace happiness

~Namaste

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A definite awe factor….

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This is the view that I saw this morning as I made my drive in to work. As I drove, I could not help but realize the role we as humans play on this earth. I know to some it may seem menial but my perception tells me otherwise. I feel that I can make my mark and leave a positive impression on those around me…or at least try.

This image takes me back to a video clip that our ministry team showed at church one Sunday. The Awe Factor of God shows just how magnificent He is in His creation. The magnitude of space is indescribable.

I had a serious discussion with a student just yesterday. He came in to the office, sat down and asked me some deep, spiritual questions and I found myself having a difficult time explaining my thoughts. I know what I feel and what I believe but vocalizing those thoughts was hard. The main question he asked me and it has stuck with me is “if in the end we are all we have left, then why does everything else matter?”  WOW….I honestly could not find a way to answer that. I know how I feel but putting those thoughts into words has been a challenge and a constant thought on my mind since our conversation.

How would you have answered the student’s question?

It’s hard to deny.

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Every morning on the way to work, I travel east on a country road just as the sun is making its way up. As I drive in the direction of the approaching light, I find myself admiring the beauty of the morning. The orange and red ball, signifying the beginning of a new day, nearly takes my breath away every morning.

As I near the interstate, I pass a pasture that is home to a beautiful spotted horse and her new colt. They are never separated. It is amazing to watch the growth of the colt and the bond these animals have.

As I experience the rising sun, the morning dew on the trees, and the bond of creatures, I can’t help think to myself….how can one deny the existence of a creator? He is prevalent in life.

My intention for my day is to experience and notice what He has created and be thankful for such beauty that life has to offer.

just had to vent…

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Is it terrible that I just do not have to same view points and thoughts that I had seriously like 2 weeks ago.  I can feel things change stirring inside me. I can’t quite put my hands on it but I know that something needs to change. There is not another worse feeling than helplessness and uncertianity. I DO know that I love my family and I want the best for us. I DO know that my God will protect me and support me in whatever I decide as long as I am glorifiying Him.

However, due to recent events, I have become really disappointed and dissatisfied with things, people, events, etc…. Without going into deep description and explanation, I am having to look within myself to change the way I view life. It is up to me. I am the leader of my life.

I recently have discovered an amazing website that has laid it out.  View it here I am making it a point to read everyday.

I just had a need to vent. I am done and now its time to yoga!

namaste

Patience at its best…

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SO lately i have been working on my value of patience. It is really hard sometimes. When a friend lashes out over events that seem so petty, when I have to repeat my directions to my class AGAIN, when a job interview goes so strange and all I can do is wait, and when I pray over an event…and not sure when OR if it will be answered. This is all testing and keeping my patience in check.

All I keep telling myself is that none of this is in my hands. I am not in control of this situation. It is all up to God. I am learning, and it is a work in progress, to close my eyes and say this prayer.

Lord, I pray that you help me remain patient through the events that are taking place. It is not in my hands Lord. I lift it up to you and know that your will be done. Continue to help me grow Lord and learn that it is all out of my control. In your loving name,

Amen

Dare I say, what’s next?

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As I finished my last test for my Masters degree on Saturday…an 8 hour one at that, I sat at the computer and exhaled very loudly. I was done! I sat back, opened a cold beer to celebrate and thought about all that I had done in the past 3 years. It was at that point that I realized, I AM TIRED! Not just tired from sitting at a computer screen, but physically and mentally tired from my activities for the past 3 years. Some one asked me….how have you balanced everything? The term “everything” is being used to include 2 pregnancies, 2 babies, being a wife of a coach,a full-time teacher with several sponsorships at the high school level, AND graduate school. With that, I bring you this blog explaining how I have attempted to make like work for the past 3 years. Disclaimer – I am not an expert on balancing life…this is just how it worked out for me.

FAITH!!! Without faith in my God and myself, there is no way I could have made it. There were so many times that I would sit at my computer and just cry, knowing that I had a paper or project due and I was completely exhausted from being up with one or both of the kids. I prayed a lot for serenity and patience…and I made it.

FAMILY!!! I am not sure I would have been able to accomplish even a fraction of what I have if it were not for my family…more specifially my mom and my husband. So many times I had classes or duties on Saturdays or in the evenings and not once did my mother hesitate taking my babies. She is a God-send and I am so blessed to have her in my life (ok…mom, I know that you are tearing up now but you have to stop so that you can read the rest!) My husband – he helped all that he could with the kids, but his schedule is so demanding that it was not always possible. The amazing ways he helped me keep my sanity was by taking me out for date nights, or surprising me with spa days, and more importantly…keeping me stocked with my favorite wine so I could unwind at the end of the day. He will never know the extent to which I love and appreciate him.

FRIENDS!!! Without the occasional girls night, or even just a rant fest on the phone, I would have gone insane. I have a great core group of girls. We may not see or talk to each other on a daily basis, but I know that they are there when I need them. All have taken a turn watching my kids or running an errand for me. We all love each other and I am complete because of them!

AND OF COURSE WINE!!! It sounds funny, but so true. There were so many nights were I would be worried or wired from endless hours of homework, job duties or just everyday events, that I NEEDED to enjoy a nice glass of wine to relax. Some of my favorite nights included putting the kids down for bed and sitting on the couch with the hubs and a glass of wine…just talking. So relaxing and romantic!

Now that my chaotic 3 years are coming to a close…culminating on Dec 17th as I cross the stage, I sit here and ponder the question “What do I do now?” I am so used to the hustle and bustle that I am afraid that I will get bored. I have decided that it is time to start back up on NormalGirlArt, write A LOT, read lots of books for fun, and maybe have another kid. 🙂 we shall see.

Catch up…again!

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Life has been super busy and a super blessing. I can not apologize for not writing as much, seeing as how I am spending all my extra time with my family. At this point blogging requires me to get up before the rest of the house and let’s face it, that does not happen often. I would like to catch my readers up on what is going on in the life of a normal girl…

Work – Fifth grade is turning out to be not so bad. I have a special place in my heart for this age group. They are so torn…to act like big kids and not wanting to grow up. They try to act tough but are sent to tears so easily. I have fallen in love with one of my kiddos. I ask the hubs on a daily basis if we can adopt him. His home life is not so great, mom is facing prison time and an elderly grandma has custody of him and should not be responsible for him due to her health. I pray about it all the time. I did ask his grandma if the hubs and I can take him to TCU games and Keene games, seeing as he is a BIG sports fan. She was so excited with my offer.

School – Ladies and gentlemen…I have 2 class days left until my graduate school career is over…for now anyway. I finish on October 29th, first of two tests on Nov 12. and Graduation on Dec 17th. I can’t believe that it is nearly done!!! AMEN!

Faith – I have recently volunteered to lead a small group for my church. I am so excited. I got up early this morning to start preparing and I am stoked. I have wanted to do this for a while but my schedule has not allowed it until now. Please keep me in your prayers as I prepare for this new endeavor. I feel that the Lord has led me to this and I want to glorify Him.

Family – The hubs is doing good. This is such a busy time for him and we don’t get to see him as much as we would like during the week. Basketball season is getting closer and we all couldn’t be happier. I am pretty sure Maddox is a gym rat in the making. I took the kids to the gym for a fall league game…and to see daddy. As soon as we left the gym she started crying; when we returned she stopped. Awesome! Jax was the same way. My kids love noise…that is a great thing for a mom and coach’s wife! Maddox just turned 3 months and is so incredibly happy all the time. She is holding her head up on her own…most of the time. She is a talker and loves to smile. Jax is battling the wonderful allergy season but otherwise doing very well. He loves going to school and is learning so much. The stuff that comes out of his mouth is astounding. I love every minute of it.

I am not going to make any promises as to how much I will write. I will say that I would like to write weekly. A “thankful Thursday” piece. We shall see. I wish everyone a wonderful day, week, etc. Until next time….

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“I get by with a little help from my friends.”

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Every girl needs it! One has a difficult time surviving without it. I for one love it –> true friendship.

What I love about my chicas is that we do not have to talk EVERY single day to know that we love one another dearly. I sometimes go weeks without talking to one or more of them, and it is quite alright. We all know that each other is crazy busy with husbands, kids, work, life, etc…. I would like to dedicate this post to the wonderful ladies that are in my life!

Courtney –> there are not enough words to describe Courtney and my relationship. We have known each other since birth and we complete each other. She is not only my cousin but my best friend in the whole entire world. She and I have a great time no matter where we are or who we are with. We could write a book about our experiences and Lord knows about our crazy family! I hope that everyone has a Courtney in their life. I can call her whenever just to rant, rave or boast. She listens and gives good sound advice that always seems like the right answer!

Cara –> She is my crazy friend who has the greatest sense of humor and knows how to have fun in any situation. Oh, how I miss her. Just as our relationship was growing, she and her family had to move due to a career change. This is the lady that, we can go weeks without talking and pick up like not a day has gone by. I admire her faith and dedication to her family. God knew what He was doing when he made Cara….what an amazing heart! I love her dearly.

Becky–> she is the person whose strength and courage I admire the most. No one truly knows everything that this lady has gone through or is going through. In the past 4+ years, Becky and I have been through thick and thin and through the grace of God, we have become true friends. She will always have a special place in my heart.

Mikala – my amazing sister-in-law who has a heart of gold and a personality that is spunky. She is such an amazing person. I wish I had a percentage of her wit. I don’t think I have ever met a person as witty as my SIL. Along with wit, she is a true family member. IF there were anytime, any of her family members needed anything, Mikala would be there. When I married my hubs, I had no idea that I would also be marrying into a great friendship.

Michelle – I don’t know how this lady does it all, but I sure admire her for it. She is not only an awesome friend, but a wife, mom of two, teacher, coach, high school and her kids teams….I could go on all night. In the 7 years we have been friends, I have rarely seen her frazzled. She has life under control…or she hides it well! She is the person that can relate to my soft side and I can cry with; many times over something quite silly. I will always cherish her kind heart and silly personality.

There is not a day that goes by that I do not think God for my friends. I wish there were more hours in the day, so that I coulc experience them daily, but I have faith that they know they are all loved by me. I pray that you reading this has been blessed with at least one Courtney, Cara, Becky, Mikala or Michelle in your life. I am not sure what I have done to be so lucky to have all five.

“I get by with a little help from my friends.”
– John Lennon

Well…so I thought

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 I am going to start this with a disclaimer….this post was not written with the intention of getting pity comments. This is just a girl being honest with herself!

THESE ARE MY THOUGHTS LAST NIGHT ON THE WAY HOME FROM CLASS: The more I attend my graduate classes for principal certification, the more I realize that I do not fall into the category of an “excellent teacher.” I often times do not have EVERYTHING ready for class at the beginning. There are many times when my objectives are not clearly defined on the board. What I do know is that my kids GET IT. Their test scores reflect it and at the end of the year I can look back and reflect…whew, that was a tough one, BUT we made it.

MY THOUGHTS AS OF THIS MORNING: I am okay with being what the text calls “mediocre.” I stress too much on being a textbook excellent teacher. Working in a small district, I wear many hats. I would literally go insane if I had to be excellent in all that I do. I have come to this conclusion and I am OKAY with it. I would much rather be a mediocre (according to textbook) teacher than a mediocre mom.

To be an excellent teacher, I would have to spend hours at school perfecting my lesson plans, making sure all ducks are in a row, all objectives are clearly stated on the board, creating a plan that encompassed all 50 minutes of each period. I would rather know that what I am teaching is solid, although it may not be posted on the board. I would rather see the understanding in my kids eyes and on their tests, than stress about what my lesson book looks like.

By coming to this conclusion, I have realized I may be a mediocre teacher BUT I am an excellent wife and mother. My husband and my son know that I will be home to take care of them at the end of the day. There is a hot meal on the table, a warm bath drawn at night and mom is not too tired to play,love and enjoy our time together.

It is all about choices. Some may not agree with mine, but I have to realize that that is okay! I love my life and I know looking back years from now, my family will not have suffered.