There is no such thing as destiny….

Life really is what you make it.

Truthbomb #409

                                                                         

I literally have this conversation about 100 times a week. As an assistant principal, I talk to young adults on a daily basis. Most conversations revolve around the fact that a bad judgement occurred….gossip, cheating, disrespect, fighting, etc. The root of ALL the conversations is….what are YOU doing that is right? Are YOU making smart choices? Most of the times they realize that they are in deed making bad choices. I always end the conversation with, “you are not a bad kid, you are just making bad choices. I love you and start making wise choices.” I usually get an “OK Mrs.” or “I’ll do better”. It’s the days when I get an “I love you too Mrs.” or a “thank you” and a hug….those are the days that I know I have made a difference.

Looking at my own life and reflecting, I don’t always make the right choices. I try to take my own advice. I really don’t believe in destiny, I do believe that I am responsible for my actions and the repercussions of what I do. Albeit macabre, I often think about what do I want said at my funeral. I, of course  want to be known as a good wife and mom, but more importantly, I want to be known as someone who made a difference in the lives I encountered. I do my best to treat people like I want to be treated. I raise my children with the idea of being good. I believe in karma. I know that some of the choices I have made will come back and bite me. I have to accept that and try to do better. Love is in my heart. I show it to many people in different ways. Offering help when one needs it, listening to a friend, being kind when others are not, accepting of those that are different.

Buddha said, “However many holy words you read, however many you speak, what good will they do if you do not act upon them?” Don’t just talk a big game….act it out. How do you act it out in your life?

It’s so easy for them

excuse the blurryness…they wouldn’t hold still for a moment!!

 

My heart swells with pride watching my children enjoy life. I hope to be a student of them as much as they are a student of me.

My daughter says hello to every one that passes by…everyone. It doesn’t matter if we are on foot or in a car. She is waving and saying hello. I absolutely love and admire her unconditional acceptance of people. As adults, I wish we all had more of that. It seems that our environment and experiences make us hesitant to embrace those who are different. I want that back!!!

My son…he can enter a new environment, be it a soccer field, school classroom or a mall playground and make instant friends. His imagination is limitless. He and a boy he met at the playground last night played for a solid 30 minutes and their imagination was incredible. They didn’t care who was around or who overheard their elaborate scheme. They just played. I want that back!!!

I love spending time with my kids and understanding that they can teach me sometimes more than I can teach them….at just at the right time.

I am better off without you

I am not at all saying that there is nothing positive in my life. I am surrounded by it.  However, I am also exhausted with the negative parts in my life. Negative actions, negative words, and negative attitudes (mine definitely included). Therefore, I am on a quest to banish them forever.  Negativity….I am better off without you!

My sense of self will be the hardest to conquer. I have a great facade going on. I pretend that I am content with myself, but that would be an injustice. That would allude to the fact that I am done growing (physically, spiritually, and emotionally). There is always room for improvement and growth.

The negative, judgmental part of my being has to go away also. I try to be very unbiased and non-judgmental, however, human nature and inherent sin make it so easy. This is a part that needs constant attention.

Another difficulty will be people’s perception of the new real me I am so desperately needing to find. My activities will change. My outlook on myself and others will change and my perception of the world will change. I am hoping and praying that this will all be viewed as positive, however, there is no one that I need approval from except God and myself.

So…here’s to a new ME….better lifestyle, healthier living, positive attitude, non-judgmental and happier. If you see me and I am not doing this…call me out nicely. Accountability in numbers.

love peace happiness

~Namaste

Stop…

Stop…breathe…take notice of all that is around you. You are surrounded by beautiful moments.

Look at the beauty that is in the smallest thing. The colors of the sky as the sun makes its way into the horizon. The blooms that are appearing in the trees. The toothy grin of a child.

Listen to your surroundings. The wind whipping through the yard. The sounds of children playing. The lyrics of the perfect song played at the perfect moment. The sound of “I love you” by someone who truly means it.

Feel the warmth of the sun as you talk a much needed walk. The tight embrace of a dear friend. The cool side of the pillow when you turn it over at just the right moment.

Taste the coolness of an iced tea on a hot day. The saltiness of tears streaming down your face. The boldness of a glass of merlot after a long day.

Smell of  freshly baked goodies. The smell of campfire. The smell of rain. The smell of a freshly bathed body.

It is everywhere. Beauty…often unnoticed and usually underrated. All created by the Supreme Being and for whom I give the highest credit.

Namaste

It’s the best medicine…

Monkey thinking he is hilarious in his sister’s onesie… that’s my boy!

It should happen more often.
I need more of it in life.
I just need to make myself relax and let it happen.

LAUGHTER!!!

Yesterday, because of a pure Freudian slip that I do not wish to expand on (let’s just say it involved roosters, the BBC and falling down in the fetal position), I experienced the biggest deep down, out loud, earth-shaking laugh. It had been a while since I have one of that caliber. The feeling right after a great laugh is amazing. I swear I felt years come off right then and there…and it has to be an ab workout, RIGHT????

I have to find more to laugh about. I get so wrapped up in daily routine that I forget to just laugh.

When and what was the last time you really laughed out loud?

I have no one else to blame but me.

A friend was recently telling me about the ideas and premise of Tony Robbins, the motivational and life coach. Robbins explains that YOU are in charge of YOUR OWN outcome. If you are sad, you and only you have the ability to make you happy again. It is your choice…your decision… and ultimately the outcome is based on you.

This has had me really thinking lately. I have no one else to blame for my down days except me. I am in control of my actions and reactions. That is why I have started paying attention to little details in my daily life that ultimately make a big difference.

– I have always liked the idea of working out in the morning because a.) you burn more calories throughout the day and b.) life gets too hectic when everyone else in the house is up and going. Therefore, this entire week I have worked out in the morning….no excuses. The alarm goes off, I snooze for 5 more minutes and then I am up and out the door to the gym. I have felt great this week!!! It was my choice!

– Kids will be kids. After working with precious teenagers all week, often times I come home with very little patience. I have tried to maintain composure, not get overly upset at the mistakes my own babies make. I am trying to verbal discuss Monkey’s wrong choices without raising my voice (this is one I still need a bit more practice on). Just Breathe!!

– Just because the hubs doesn’t do every little romantic thing I have conjured up in my mind, doesn’t mean he isn’t showing my his love in his own way. I don’t need a dozen rose petals laid out across the bed, I don’t need a poem detailing his love (ok…maybe bad examples…those are all cheesy in my book!) I am completely thrilled when he rinses off all the dishes in the sink and leaves them to be put in the dishwasher…that is another piece of love…he knows that I am uber anal-retentive with my dishwasher space…JUST LET ME DO IT!!!!

I am in control of my emotions. I am in control of pain and pleasure. I am the sayer of what I want to do. I know that there are consequences and rewards for things I do or choose not to do. I am loving the fact that I am in this state of realization. I know that God is not going to give me anything that I can not handle. His faith in me and mine in Him has more power than anything else.

How do you get through life’s daily trials and tribulations?

Rules of parenting…whatever!

So I am sure there are so many unwritten rules of parenting. They have been passed down through the years, generation after generation. Well…in my house, these rules are meant to be broken.

1. No throwing things in the house!!!!  I have to say that we definitely do not follow this rule. My husband and my son are constantly throwing a football or basketball. I did however draw the line at no golf clubs in the house and no punting. The rest is a free for all. One of the greatest laughs is watching Monkey go for a long pass, run it in for a touchdown, spike it and then show off his latest touchdown dance! My husband is always practicing his latest trick shot that banks off the high walls…off his head…and into the basket. Of course Monkey has to follow suit and attempt it. AND….the only person to have broken anything knock on wood, is ME!!!! I attempted one of the hubs’ trick shot and hit the lampshade….cracking it. OOPS!!!!  I did mention this all takes place in my living room right???

2. No staying up late!!! This rule has to be broken for us to have quality time together. Whoever thought working in education meant getting off at 3:30 is sadly mistaken. My schedule usually has me getting out of school on most days at 4:30 and depending on games it maybe close to 9 before I leave….at night! My hubs coaches and that is a crazy hectic schedule all in itself! The average time home is between 6 and 7pm. Buggy gets about an hour with him and it kills him. So being the awesome mom I am, Monkey gets to stay up and play with Dad. Bed time at our place is about 9. He maybe a bit cranky but being able to spend time with his dad outweighs the negatives!

3. So his socks don’t match…so what! At least he is dressed and he did it himself. I don’t think mismatched socks is the end of the world. Life goes on and he is proud of his accomplishment!

4. Yep, my kids watch TV…and OMG he watches it falling asleep  I monitor the programs my kids watch and I make sure that there is an educational purpose behind each and every one of them…but I let them watch it and I do use it as a babysitter during certain times. I am pretty sure a good dose of Wild Kratts or Special Agent Oso will not hurt while I make dinner, do the laundry or have a moment of me time!!!  AND YES!!! my son watches tv every night while he falls asleep. Hey moms…get a tv with a sleep timer on it. He has 30 mins and then lights out. I have had no issues and he knows that when show goes off…its time to go to bed, if he isn’t asleep before that.

5. Bath times don’t occur daily! I have to admit it…there have been times when I could not remember when I gave my kids a bath. I know that it had been in the past week…maybe week and a half. OOPS…what mom/dad out there has not experienced that??? If you say you haven’t QUIT  LYING!!!! As they are getting older…play harder…and eat messier food –  independently (food in hair) I have been more diligent about bath times. Let’s face it, you have worked hard, exhausted, dinner cooked, kitchen cleaned and all you want is to sit on the couch and relax….that extra 15-20 minutes of bath time is just something that can be put off until tomorrow!

Moms and dads…rules are meant to be broken!!!

Which rules are you guilty of breaking????

Not sure what I would do without him.

The more days, months, years that pass by; the more I realize how much I love him. He is my best friend.  Not sure what I would do without him.

There are so many times that I look at him and realize that I was made for him. He has taught me how to be a better me. He has taught me how to love and how to be loved. I realize that I am not perfect, but in his eyes, I am. Not sure what I would do without him.

He sees me for the wife, mother and woman I am and constantly tells me how he loves me. There are so many times when life is hectic and overbearing, but he makes it a point to show me that I am a top priority. I am not sure what I would do without him.

He has let me grow, make mistakes, forgives me and changes with me. He has become the most amazing father and I have fallen in love with him all over again. Not sure what I would do without him.

I have discovered some of my old friends

 

My husband and family often laugh at me when I refer to my books as my friends. My favorites I tend to hang on to and revisit. Just today at lunch, some colleagues of mine and I were talking about some of our favorite books of all time and I started reminiscing about my old friends. So I am going to try to list some of my all time favorite books and why. These are in no particular order, hell just narrowing them down to this list was difficult enough.

• The Great Gatsby – as an American history teacher and lover, this book encompassed one of my favorite decades. Fitzgerald did an amazing job portraying lust, love, deception, crime and history all in one entertaining novel.
• East of Eden – John Steinbeck’s first novel and my favorite of his. The retelling of the Book of Genesis set at the turn of the 20th century. I can’t rave enough about this novel. I have just picked it up to re-read!!!
  
• Wuthering Heights – I have a love/hate with Heathcliff and I think you will agree if when you read it.  Emily Bronte’s The romance and complexity between Catherine and Heathcliff is at times too intense to read. I LOVE IT
• Pride and Prejudice – I think I fell in love with Mr. Darcy my freshman year in college when I first read this book. There is just something mysterious and lovely about him. The relationship he and Elizabeth share is so unnerving at times. This novel makes me feel that the courtship style dating needs to return to modern days.
• Same Kind of Difference as Me – I think this book taught me how to be a better person. How to not look at someone and assume I know what type of person they are. This story of two complete opposites building a unique unexpected friendship, is one of the most beautiful stories I have EVER read. I had to put the book down many times because I couldn’t read through the tears.

I have so many more that I could go on forever…this is just a glimpse.

PLEASE share your faves!!!!

Take the time to just breathe

Life is so full…well, mine is anyhow.  I am learning how to not put too much on my plate, but I continually struggle with this.

I am a wife to a coach, we have two toddler children, full-time job, blogger, free-lance writer, friend, daughter…the list goes on.

This past week I came down with the flu and I had to learn to just be content with lying there…and trying to breathe.

My inner self was saying, YOU NEED TO GET UP AND TAKE CARE OF YOUR FAMILY WOMAN! and my body was saying PLEASE JUST RELAX.

When it came down to it, I sided with my body…at least for a day or two.

Life teaches us lessons everyday if you just let it. I now understand that the world will not crumble if the dishes are not done, kids are not bathed that night or dinner is take out instead of home cooked.

What does matter is that I take notice of life occurences that are happening all around. Don’t take the sunlight and its warmth for granted. Enjoy every giggle and every tear your  child makes. The kiss of your spouse is magical. A friendly hello is always welcoming. The smell of coffee (and wine) is enticing!

Life is good…it’s all about how you perceive it.

~Namaste

12/12/12…and #100

How fitting that today I posted my 100th post!!!! Perfect timing!!!!

 

This is definitely a day that will go down in history. For the past 12 years we have had a day that all 3 numbers (month/day/year) have been the same..ie. 01/01/01, 02/02/02…ok you get the drift. This will be the last day like this for the next 88 years. The next will fall on 01/01/2101….CRAZY!

I hope to make this a special day by doing something small yet memorable. Taking time to visit with my family…get the kids bundled up and ride around looking at Christmas lights in the neighborhood.  Spend some extra time with my children at bedtime…read an extra story. Put the kids to bed and spend some quality time with the hubs!

So many children being born, people getting engaged/married, events taking place that will not be forgotten.

The event doesn’t have to be extravagant…the memories you make just need to be purposeful and special.

What did you do today to make it special? Share via comments!

And the award goes to….

 

ME!!!! It’s ME!!!  I won!!!

I found out that I am known as the MEANEST teacher in the high school. I can not tell you how happy that makes me.  OKAY OKAY…let me explain.

The upper classmen have told the freshmen that I am the meanest and hardest teacher…little do they know that I actually love every single one of them. I just have high expectations. Such as

NO you may not use a pencil in my class….use pen. Be confident in what you write. Make it legible and stand by it.

NO you may not say what  and yeah in my class…you may say excuse me  and yes ma’am. get use to being polite. It is what society expects.

NO you may not say ugly words in my class such as suck, hate, shut up…I loathe those words…increase your vocabulary.

NO I do not allow you to sleep in my class…what I am saying is important and rudeness is not tolerated.

YES you may have snacks in my room…I understand that you are growing teenagers and I have no idea if you ate dinner last night or breakfast this morning…just clean up after yourself…and try and make it a healthy snack!

YES I understand that you also have a life and responsibilities outside of Room 102…talk to me, I am human and I understand that you may not have finished your homework last night because you had to babysit…AGAIN.

YES I care about you…I want you to succeed and become a contributing member to society.

Little so they know that I do care and all of my meanness will be understood later in life.

It’s hard to deny.

Every morning on the way to work, I travel east on a country road just as the sun is making its way up. As I drive in the direction of the approaching light, I find myself admiring the beauty of the morning. The orange and red ball, signifying the beginning of a new day, nearly takes my breath away every morning.

As I near the interstate, I pass a pasture that is home to a beautiful spotted horse and her new colt. They are never separated. It is amazing to watch the growth of the colt and the bond these animals have.

As I experience the rising sun, the morning dew on the trees, and the bond of creatures, I can’t help think to myself….how can one deny the existence of a creator? He is prevalent in life.

My intention for my day is to experience and notice what He has created and be thankful for such beauty that life has to offer.

Pure innocence…

That is all it is. When I watch my kids at play…I am constantly seeing their innocence and curiosity at its best.

The things we take in life for granted, my son sees as the “coolest” thing ever. I get excited just watching him.

When I make his favorite dinner or his friends come over and play, he is on Cloud 9.

When my daughter sees her sippy cup full of almond milk, she is thrilled.
When a good song comes on, both my kids are bopping around the living room.

I miss that innocence in myself. I try to being it back and then life just gets chaotic and crazy and ZOOM…the fun and innocence are gone again.

I have a few weeks left of my summer vacation. My goal…my mission…is to bring back the fun and innocence.

Be silly and not care.

Dance around the living room.

Ask why things happen…just like my son does 1 million times a day!

I teach kids all the time. It is now time to have my kids teach me something or two about life.

Here’s to a better me….

Those that know me know that I am always looking for the next best thing on nutrition. I was a vegetarian for nearly 2 years and I tried the vegan thing for about 6 months (too damn difficult in our society). I enjoy being healthy and trying my best to choose the healthiest option the majority of the time. I have heard a lot about raw food nutrition and juicing; however, I had never tried it.

Until today…. One of the Yoga instructors at the studio I go to in Granbury, Vitality Yoga, told our class about Barefoot Market, a juice bar and nutrition store. I had some time to kill today so I loaded the kids up and went to check it out. YUMMY!!! I had carrot, spinach, kale, and oranges juiced together. Delicious and it truly was filling. they also have a natural food market that is stocked with awesome goodies.

Thank goodness I liked it because we had already purchased a juicer two days ago….I’m patiently awaiting its arrival.

I also am about to start reading Natalia Rose’s Raw Food Detox Diet. I will keep you all posted and share recipes as I try out different blends. Please share if you have experiences as well!

You never know when….

As I was running my errands today, I drove past the local Catholic Church. There had to be over 200 cars parked in the lot and overflowing into the street. I noticed a hearse and knew this was the mourning of a life lost. I took notice of the attendants. The majority of the people waiting in line to enter the building were under 18. My heart sunk. It had to be a young life that was struck short. All at once, thoughts started flooding my mind. Life is so unpredictable. One moment all is good, the next could be drastically different. It seems so cliche but so true…live each day as if it’s your last.
– Don’t hesitate telling someone you love them.
– have fun and enjoy it…no regrets
– Step outside your comfort zone…just try it!
– check off stuff on your bucket list…if you don’t have one…make one!
– laugh out loud…don’t hold it back!
– squeeze your kids extra tight
– call a friend you haven’t talked to in a while
– be still…be quiet…and just listen

Life is precious. Enjoy, cherish and appreciate every minute.

Amazing words…

Indiscriminate Act of Kindness

Foy Vance

(don’t read too much into it…just enjoy)

She came from the cold wet
Dropped her luggage bags
Looked the concierge in the eye
Said, “I need a room for the night,
But I don’t got no money.
Would you take payment of any kind?”He said, “It’s alright
I got a room here, you can share mine.
Make the bed in the morning and that’ll do fine.
You can change in the bathroom,
Hang your clothes on the line.”
A tear came to her eye
She thought how could he be so kind
How could he be so kind (x2)

She sat down on the bed with a needle
He said, “I’d hate to see you bleed,
Just fetch a warm towel,
I’ll sit with you til you’re dry.”
She started to cry
Said, “Why? why? why? why? why? why?”

Consider it an indiscriminate act of kindness.
(x3)

She was cold turkey
He was holding her hand
She said, “I was ruined by man,
This was never in my plans.
I dreamed of men who loved me,
Together we’d see the world.
Somehow I lost myself among the insults they hurled.”

“I’m sure your a wonderful woman,
And someday there will surely be someone.
So just relax now, it’s important that you’re calm.”

She said, “How is it you can see past me as I am?”

Consider it an indiscriminate act of kindness.
(x3)

“When you took your chances,
It was like you placed a bet.
And sometimes this is the reward you can get.
I was always taught
If you see someone defiled,
You should look them in the eyes and smile,
And take their heart, no better yet
Take them home, home, home.”

She awoke early in the morning
Made the bed, gathered up her clothes to leave
Saw the concierge curled on the settee
Said, “What you did for me was hard for me to believe.”

“I was just doing what was right.
No one that knows love could leave you out there on such a night.
If you can help someone,
Bare this in mind
And consider it an indiscriminate act of kindness.”

Consider it an indiscriminate act of kindness.
(x7)

 

More lyrics: http://www.lyricsmania.com/indiscriminate_act_of_kindness_lyrics_foy_vance.html
All about Foy Vance: http://www.musictory.com/music/Foy+Vance

just had to vent…

Is it terrible that I just do not have to same view points and thoughts that I had seriously like 2 weeks ago.  I can feel things change stirring inside me. I can’t quite put my hands on it but I know that something needs to change. There is not another worse feeling than helplessness and uncertianity. I DO know that I love my family and I want the best for us. I DO know that my God will protect me and support me in whatever I decide as long as I am glorifiying Him.

However, due to recent events, I have become really disappointed and dissatisfied with things, people, events, etc…. Without going into deep description and explanation, I am having to look within myself to change the way I view life. It is up to me. I am the leader of my life.

I recently have discovered an amazing website that has laid it out.  View it here I am making it a point to read everyday.

I just had a need to vent. I am done and now its time to yoga!

namaste

Beautiful things are all around.

Lately I have been trying my best to sit back and just observe life that is all around me. It is so easy to see the bad and negative, the hard part is seeing the beautiful things in life. There are so many beautiful things  and noticing them is what I have decided to do. Here are a few that make my heart full.

• sun rises….at first I thought “how cliché” but they truly are beautiful. I feel that they symbolize a new start.  If the day/night before was not so good, the rise of the morning sun is a new start…a new beginning
• my husband’s passion for life
• my son’s excitement over the “normal” stuff we as adults take for granted
• the look on my daughter’s face when she sees me first thing in the morning…that is unconditional true love
• great discussion with amazing friends…and wine!
• my mother
• when the perfect song comes on at the right moment…a soundtrack to life
• my sister in law’s heart. She is one of the strongest most beautiful souls I have ever met
• savasana…my most favorite and needed pose

What are the beautiful things that surround you?

Just life

So, I haven’t written about just life in a while. I realize that I have been pouring my Advocare story to you all over and over again. For that…I don’t necessarily apologize, as I have been super excited to get fit and lean after the birth of my second child. I do want to say that I will change the subject for a while.

Let’s focus today on the human race. Sitting back and observing humans is one of my favorite past times. I am not here to judge, just merely tell the truth.

On Friday, I had the pleasure of having dinner with some girlfriends. I am sorry ladies, but we as a whole are interesting creatures. We like to gossip. We (well some of us do) try and turn off the gossip mill, but let’s face it…its genetically in our DNA. It does not make us bad people and not all gossip it told out of evil. We also often develop the habit of morphing into different personalities at the first sign of drama or an uncomfortable situation. It’s true…don’t deny it!

I am starting to realize…I am just me. I will always try and be a better me, but at the end of the day, all I can be is what I know. I think it would be a disservice to myself to act as though I am not the person my momma raised me to be.

What is your favorite thing to observe while watching people? It’s entertaining, huh?

Patience at its best…

SO lately i have been working on my value of patience. It is really hard sometimes. When a friend lashes out over events that seem so petty, when I have to repeat my directions to my class AGAIN, when a job interview goes so strange and all I can do is wait, and when I pray over an event…and not sure when OR if it will be answered. This is all testing and keeping my patience in check.

All I keep telling myself is that none of this is in my hands. I am not in control of this situation. It is all up to God. I am learning, and it is a work in progress, to close my eyes and say this prayer.

Lord, I pray that you help me remain patient through the events that are taking place. It is not in my hands Lord. I lift it up to you and know that your will be done. Continue to help me grow Lord and learn that it is all out of my control. In your loving name,

Amen

And then there was Wednesday….

So I actually had the opportunity to take the day off with my children while they were healthy…there was no fever, coughing, throwing up or drippy runny noses. It was just me and the kiddos. And I have to tell you it was absolutely perfect. I did have an almost 3 year-old pee all over the floor BUT he was SOOOO proud because he was standing up “just like daddy!” I couldn’t be mad. I just cleaned up the mess and sat him down to finish. Ladybug and I got to play on the floor and she nearly crawled. I would have been so stoked to have seen her crawl for the first time.

That’s when I realized that it more than likely will not be me that sees many of her “firsts.” Just like it wasn’t me that witnessed many of Monkey’s firsts. I AM truly blessed that MiMi is there in my absence as opposed to daycare. But my goal is to find a way to stay at home with my kids! It is my mission!

So then there was Wednesday morning…on the ride to work I was sullen, I admit it…near pouting. The hubs kept asking what was wrong. I resorted to say “nothing” because ultimately he just doesn’t understand the intense burn I have in my heart to be with my kids. So I just pray!

I am quite lucky, that until I fulfill my dream, I have a great job teaching really good kids….they just aren’t mine!

No wonder he’s all about daddy lately…

SO my hubs tells me not to worry about it….”he’s a two-year old” – “he doesn’t really mean it”…BUT my son never wants mommy when daddy is home. If he falls, he runs to daddy, even though mommy has magic kisses. In the middle of the night, when he is scared, it’s daddy’s name that he calls. It makes me sad and when he wipes my kisses off, my feelings do get hurt. I know that he really does love me and it is all a stage, but as I have been watching the Disney movies with him lately I have noticed…where are all the moms?

Finding Nemo….she died at the very beginning.

Beauty and the Beast….mom died as well

Cinderella….step mom is EVIL!

Bambi….killed

WHAT THE HECK????? My son needs movies with strong moms!!!!

What are your thoughts?

Pardon me Ferber…but screw you!

Sorry, I had to get that out. I feel much better!

The past few neverending nights, have been quite difficult for Ladybug and myself. Well, actually its been nearly six months since I had a full 8+ hours of sleep; but these past few weeks have been extra hard. She keeps waking up 2-3 times. I am sure that it is because she is teething, but when she sees me, she equates that with feeding time. I have decided that it is time to work on sleeping the full night (Monkey slept through the night at 3 months!)

That brings me to Ferber. The Ferber Method is for baby training  ie..they til they fall asleep. Let me tell you that this is the hardest thing I have EVER done.

Last night, I told myself that I would not get go to her room. This was going to be the night that she would put herself back to sleep. At 12:36 AM, the crying began:

I turned off the monitor and closed my eyes, she was going to cry for a little bit, I told myself, then fall back asleep. 12:28 AM (the longest 2 minutes), I turned on the TV to drown her out. Its amazing how well a mother can hear her child crying, nothing was masking the sounds.

Finally, at 12:44 AM, I threw back the covers, muttered to hubs that he needed to schedule HIS operation with the doctor because I was done having kids, and then I proceeded upstairs…bottle in hand. As soon as the ladybug saw me, a smile was plastered on her face.

It was then that I decided that I need to just get used to little sleep, because there is no way that I am letting my precious buggy cry like that another night.

Thankful Thursday

I asked my kiddos in class today what they are thankful for and the answers were interesting. You would think that most 10 year-olds would say money or presents, but most of them said family or the roof over their heads and some even said Mrs. Hill (my heart fluttered.) Got me thinking…what is it that I am thankful for today?

I am most thankful for…well…everything in my life right now. I have such an awesome family that helps me out more than I could ever repay them for. I have a great husband who gets me. and my kids….wow they are just freaking amazing. I watch them sleep or watch them partake in normal activities and I just want to squeeze them.  They are so beautiful and perfect. Makes me think…how do parents just walk away from their children…or hurt them, physically or emotionally. I just can’t even fathom that.

What is it that you are thankful for today?

Dare I say, what’s next?

As I finished my last test for my Masters degree on Saturday…an 8 hour one at that, I sat at the computer and exhaled very loudly. I was done! I sat back, opened a cold beer to celebrate and thought about all that I had done in the past 3 years. It was at that point that I realized, I AM TIRED! Not just tired from sitting at a computer screen, but physically and mentally tired from my activities for the past 3 years. Some one asked me….how have you balanced everything? The term “everything” is being used to include 2 pregnancies, 2 babies, being a wife of a coach,a full-time teacher with several sponsorships at the high school level, AND graduate school. With that, I bring you this blog explaining how I have attempted to make like work for the past 3 years. Disclaimer – I am not an expert on balancing life…this is just how it worked out for me.

FAITH!!! Without faith in my God and myself, there is no way I could have made it. There were so many times that I would sit at my computer and just cry, knowing that I had a paper or project due and I was completely exhausted from being up with one or both of the kids. I prayed a lot for serenity and patience…and I made it.

FAMILY!!! I am not sure I would have been able to accomplish even a fraction of what I have if it were not for my family…more specifially my mom and my husband. So many times I had classes or duties on Saturdays or in the evenings and not once did my mother hesitate taking my babies. She is a God-send and I am so blessed to have her in my life (ok…mom, I know that you are tearing up now but you have to stop so that you can read the rest!) My husband – he helped all that he could with the kids, but his schedule is so demanding that it was not always possible. The amazing ways he helped me keep my sanity was by taking me out for date nights, or surprising me with spa days, and more importantly…keeping me stocked with my favorite wine so I could unwind at the end of the day. He will never know the extent to which I love and appreciate him.

FRIENDS!!! Without the occasional girls night, or even just a rant fest on the phone, I would have gone insane. I have a great core group of girls. We may not see or talk to each other on a daily basis, but I know that they are there when I need them. All have taken a turn watching my kids or running an errand for me. We all love each other and I am complete because of them!

AND OF COURSE WINE!!! It sounds funny, but so true. There were so many nights were I would be worried or wired from endless hours of homework, job duties or just everyday events, that I NEEDED to enjoy a nice glass of wine to relax. Some of my favorite nights included putting the kids down for bed and sitting on the couch with the hubs and a glass of wine…just talking. So relaxing and romantic!

Now that my chaotic 3 years are coming to a close…culminating on Dec 17th as I cross the stage, I sit here and ponder the question “What do I do now?” I am so used to the hustle and bustle that I am afraid that I will get bored. I have decided that it is time to start back up on NormalGirlArt, write A LOT, read lots of books for fun, and maybe have another kid. 🙂 we shall see.

just some thoughts…

My life is so darn good lately! I have a great family, amazing friends and things are just going right for me. I am nearly done with my Masters program (graduate in Dec.), took and passed my principal’s state exam (if you know of any schools looking for an AP, call me!!) and I am having my first article published in a magazine. I am blessed!

What I really would like to focus on now is writing. I feel it in my heart that writing is the next road in life that I need to pursue. I love to write and now that my hectic load is lightning, I can do more of it. Secretly I would like to be Carrie Bradshaw! 🙂 I would like to blog more and definitely write articles for publications. I have recently written a children’s book; however,I am in need of an illustrator.  If you are interested, please message me.

What are your passions? What do you sit around and dream of doing?

 

Don’t get discouraged

So the newest Hill member turns 4 months today. Where did the time go???? She is doing so awesome meeting her milestones. She loves to smile and laugh at her silly big brother. Daddy can draw an instant smile just by looking at her. And mommy….well when mommy is around sister goes straight for the girls…my girls if you know what I mean. So much so that I can not physically keep up with her demand….therefore we have introduced formula for those times when mommy is running on empty.

At first it was difficult realizing that I can not provide supplement for my little one every time she wanted it. Hence my new mantra…don’t get discouraged. I have done my very best at providing for her for the first 4 months of her life and I am ok with that. Now, there is no stress on me to fulfill her needs and she is VERY content with formula. (and now daddy gets to partake in late night feedings!) I will continue to feed as long as I can, but I now can enjoy it knowing that she will get nourishment one way or another.

So is life!

Friday at last – namaste

As I finally have time to sit at my computer, I find myself asking, well….myself, “how are you supposed to become rich and famous a known blog writer if you never make time to blog?” Welcome to my world. I need to find the time….as well as the time to exercise, properly fix my hair, drink more water and well….let’s just add sleep to that list too.

Reflecting back on the past couple of weeks, I have realized that a LOT has been going on. As many of you know I have started teaching 5th grade. It is a big difference from high school and I am still trying to figure out if I like it as much. I adore the kids but the incessant questions that occur on a daily basis, well that kind of wears me down. That is when I have to take a moment to breathe and remember…they are only 10. However, if one more of those sweet little darlings asks me when I am going to have my baby, I will grab them by their ears and fling them gently tell them that it is not polite to ask those sorts of questions. This is where namaste comes in…

My awesome SIL has introduced me to yoga again. I say again because I have done yoga before, but NOTHING to this caliber. I absolutely love it. I find myself thinking about it all the time…or not thinking about anything, which is what you are supposed to do to relax and meditate. Namaste is a greeting or salutation.

With a great weekend ahead…date night, massage and time with the family (hopefully a yoga class thrown in) I wish you all loads of love and laughter

NAMASTE

What helps you unwind and find solace during a hectic day?

 

My life has changed….

Two years ago I woke up in a hospital bed at 1:30am knowing that today was going to be the day that I would become a mom. I was never scared of labor or delivery…I was terrified of what kind of mother I was going to me. Would I make the right choices? How do I know what is right? Will he know how much I love him? Will he love me as much? After much walking, rocking, and pushing…14 hours to be exact…Jaxon Wesley Hill came into this world with 10 beautful toes and 10 beautiful fingers. I have not been the same person since.

It amazes me everyday how much I change because of him. I have learned patience, unconditional love and the miracle of God. What a blessing!!!! I now know that with his father and I, through God, Jaxon will never know what it feels like to be unloved. I am not sure what I was before, but I take great pride in knowing that I am now MOM.

With Maddox on the way; I feel extra blessed. He has given me the opportunity to spread His love to my children and teach them how to be productive citizens of this earth and follow the golden rule.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JAXON!!!!!!!!!